It is difficult to understand why some chose to live in fear of the person they love and stay in abusive relationships and/or marriages. I believe that the victim of abuse stays with the abuser because they don’t want to be the causer of pain. This act can give room to understand why your partner is abusive and make excuses for their ill behaviors.An abuse victim might believe that they are sacrificing for a selfless act and maybe that fact just makes them feel good. Lehrer states, “The brain is designed so that act of charity are pleasurable; being nice to others makes us feel comfortable.